Tuesday, April 2, 2013
It's the little things...
I was so very different back then. I was all about my job, the company and moving up. I had gained the highest level I could without having further education and I loved it. I love people. I love developing people, helping them through things & watching them grow. I love to see potential. I learned from people who led me that being vulnerable, open & yourself often enticed people to want to follow you. Sometimes, I do miss that life. Being part of a big corporation and being proud of all the accomplishments.
To a point though, I was also a number. We had our little bubble "work family" and I am still very close to many people who I worked with but I was kind of expendable. I had people who valued my worth, & contributions but I was a bit unseen by the decision makers. My decision to try working from home instead was a hard made decision. It's hard to let go of the security, the stocks, the retirement plan, but I weighed my options carefully. I wasn't getting a raise when I went back so half my cheque would be going to daycare & this wasn't the typical 8-4 job, I'd be bringing my work home with me more often than not. As a family, we decided I would abandon my "career aspirations" and join a friend, doing something completely new.
I don't regret my decision for one second. I miss the people. I miss the camaraderie and I'm so glad my connections are still there. I miss being that person too, though. Vainly, I miss hearing, "You are the best manager I've ever had". I cling to those memories, those people and I have invested myself completely in this new venture. I want to be that person, but just in a different way. I believe in what I do, who I've become & being the best at it. I hold on to the little things, the memories....and I drink my coffee with them every morning.