Thursday, April 2, 2015

Jealousy, Envy and Other Useless Feelings.....

I have this thing where I can be very envious of others. Only people who know me really well know this about me and it's one of my greatest faults. I work really hard to keep it in check and have to give myself a bit of a pep talk when confronted with things that make me jealous or feeling threatened. They probably don't seem to be the same thing to most people but to me - one leads to the other.

They say it takes a few weeks for practice to become habit, I believe this to be true because my little pep talks are starting to come quicker, easier and the useless feelings are passing. Who has time to feel those things anyway? It's so much better - for you, selfishly wonderful, - to simply breathe, acknowledge how awesome whatever it is that's happening to be great for them. It's grand, it's great - just like all the grand and great things that we have to be grateful for in our own lives.

It's different for other people. They have different lives and you can learn things from watching others and trying to emulate the good things - trying on things that fit. Much of my recent insight has come from getting to know someone who is the complete polar opposite of me in this respect - one of the most chill people I've ever met and things she says sticks with me. She's one of those people I watch and learn from.

I'm a Scorpio - jealousy, envy and competitiveness is second nature in me. My nature isn't easily conquered and probably never will be completely, but I'm trying. In the same way that a parent who demonstrates dealing with feelings of frustration and anger teaches their child by example I hope my kids see this too. It's so easy to be sucked into that vortex of resentment and negativity but pushing that away is better. It's less toxic, and leaves room for more love, more positivity and more gratefulness. Our energy is better spent trying to set a good example of gratitude, helpfulness and excitement for others. I don't want my daughter or my son to grow up thinking that negativity is the first place to go. I'm a work in progress but keeping that in mind helps me keep trying to be better.



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